March 6, 2014

Heard at the Bar #4

"I need to make sure that Disaster gets divorced so I can fuck her again."
---
"Oh look, it's Phil!...no, no, wait, that is just a stool. They all look the same."
---
"I really want to punch this girl but I need her to punch me first so that I can say it was self-defense."

March 4, 2014

Global Town Hall

This phrase, in a German accent spoken by a female executive, made the 7am meeting worth it:
"...so in conclusion, we are screwed. So screwed. Or at least partially screwed."