Loser

Tull: It's the person that goes out on Friday night with the sole purpose of getting absolutely fucking shitfaced. And when that person gets fully intoxicated, the person continues drinking and drinking, until the person loses the ability to talk of think rationally. It's that person that wakes up the next morning feeling absolutely destroyed and starts texting other people things like "I could not stop throwing up" or "I'm dead"
Tull: That's the loser
Alpha: Kind of harsh for a Friday
Stacks: This is about Alpha?
Tull: No, that was about some purely hypothetical person who behaves like Alpha

Bad Ideas

Alpha: so you think its a bad idea to go out with this guy again

Tull: are you seriously asking this question?

Tull: i want you to think about the major reasons why this is a horrible idea, and then report back to me

Alpha: not many bad reasons

Alpha: i mean..he is normal

Alpha: he is a lumberjack

Tull: ok, so thats a bad reason #1: he's a lumberjack

Alpha: whats wrong with that

Alpha: he is strong

Alpha: only think i got is he is upstate

Alpha: but he would come here

Tull: he would be a lumberjack in manhattan?

Happy Friday

Tull: I no longer need to pay for beer. Construction workers are fighting over who's buying me a beer first.

Tokyo Sandblaster

A Tokyo Sandblaster is a scatological activity developed by Conan O'Brien for the Conan Show. It is defined as when one person has diarrhea, they place their ass close to their partner's face while firmly pressing their butt cheeks together. They then release their bowels, effectively blasting their partner in the face with a high pressure stream of shit, forcing them to squint and as a result creating the appearance of Asian features.

Corporate Communication #3 - The Leash

Stacks: why do you need it reactivated even, if you're just gonna throw it in the corner again and forget about it?
Alpha: cuz i do need it sometimes. well when im not here 13 hrs straight
Stacks: like when you're in bumfucknowhereville blasted off your ass getting ready to gamble on the shores of the delaware river with your buds and a couple cows and a gun and just HAVE TO email your manager with a "waddup braaa ur skinny pants sukkk"

High Frequency Drinking

There's an establishment in my quaint town known as Exchange Bar & Grill. It is "NYC's first and only fully automated real time drink market," as the website boasts. The prices of drinks and food will fluctuate throughout the night with supply/demand, much like those on the NYMEX. A scrolling ticker runs over the bar keeping its patrons posted on the latest quotes.

How would high frequency trading affect this fine establishment? Would it be as uproarious as, say, Goldman's inflammatory abuse of the digital loophole? My objective is to find out. A few friends all ordering three rounds of the same beer at once should be enough to produce a noticeable impact on the market at reasonable trading volumes. The experiment will come.

Tull: "high frequency drinking... HFD - the favorite activity of HFAs"

Keg Killers

Just polished off a keg of Brooklyn with Tull at the Fu. First major accomplishment this week. It'll only get better.

Lazy Hazy Sunday Texting

Stacks: Uh oh. Dude you're doing that thing again where you're calling be "bro." A surefire indicator of inebriation. You comin in tomorrow?
Tull: Sir, you just said be instead of me which leads me to believe that you either have a retarded phone (to match the owner) or it is you who is inebriated.
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Stacks to Guinness: Seriously though don't have babies. Just don't. That would be like the biggest party foul ever. And if either of us fouls, rule is, we go to Alpha with a hanger and two bottles of tequila. If anyone has the balls to rip a baby out of a uterus it's her.