Republic

"We're re-creating Plato's Republic at Tavern. With Dusties." - Russian

Myers gems, first and last

"Hilary Clinton is where erections go to die." -Myers

"She works with catholic charities and retarded people which is why I think she can put up with me naked...I'm going to dip my dick in molten plastic before I fuck her." -Myers

"This chick ran a half marathon before our first date...I can run a 1/16th marathon, I'll walk to the bar." -Myers

"Phil's Birthday" - by HFA

How I celebrated my birthday:

At 4:35am I spent five minutes outside HFA's door trying to fit a key into keyhole. Once inside I slammed myself into the closet door, dislodging it, and grunted for a bit inside. Then I threw my burger and fries onto the floor, one shoe into the kitchen, another one into the room, lay down and proceeded to eat fries off the floor for a good five minutes. After that I slammed myself into the desk then coffee table, and buried myself between couch pillows. After napping for a few minutes I started yelling in French hysterically. When I woke I was still drunk.