Retard Coffin

The Babe: "I'M SO SICK OF BEING IN A FUCKING CONVERSATIONAL INFINITE LOOP WITH YOU IT MAKES ME FEEL LIKE I'M IN A RETARD COFFIN"

Musings of the Maz

"I don't wanna have to split my candy bar with you! If I bought a Snickers why should I give it to you? And that's why I am against marriage."

Ka-Ching: On the Obese

"Looking ugly is a negative externality. People should be considerate."

Slicemaster's Words of Wisdom

"I have an idea, let's just kill someone. A little bit. Then we'll have a dead brother too."

"Every time I see her tits, I just wanna cut them off."

"Every time I see Olga handle the kitchen knife, I'm like, "Good god, can I marry you."

"When I get to VP I'm gonna have my business card say I work in murders and executions."

"You know what is disturbing? I used to own precisely 7 pairs of socks, and each pair was always matching... Now I own like 20 pairs, and I swear not a single pair matches."

Things I Do Not Like

Arm-wrestling stories, told by drunk Polish men.

Yandex

In its prospectus, Yandex warns investors that "well-funded, well-connected financial groups" in Russia occasionally use "economic or political influence of government connections" to take over independent companies. "Our ability to thwart such efforts may be limited," the prospectus reads.