December 14, 2015

Misanthropy or Realism

From the "Conversations with a Cynical Romanian" series...

Hipster: (2:50 PM)
I can’t tell any of the fellowship interviewees apart. They all have blowouts and some sort of monogrammed purse.

Russian: (3:02 PM)
We don’t set the bar too high and also I would assume that most girls that are looking for a fluff job until they can tie the knot are going to be more or less identical within the state.

Russian: (3:04 PM)
They’ll marry men who are all similar too, and the families will have similar lives in Dallas, shopping at Highland Park, upgrading their homes, the men trying to one-up each other with greener lawns, the women - with designer shoes, and then they’ll all die and be buried in the same mud they came from. These are people that merely exist.

Hipster: (3:32 PM)
There are also the children with names like McKaylee and Mackendrie who will all wear the same outfits their mothers wear. They’ll have perfect hair and makeup at age five and a host of anxiety-related issues by age 16. At 18 they’ll be cut from their mother’s sorority during rush. At 19 they’ll have their first DUI and at 22 they’ll be applying for a fellowship at our firm. The cycle repeats.

Alice's Reasons

Bistro 31

"I met a friend for drinks at a place called Bistro 31. Initially I objected to the location but then made it excusable in my mind by calling it a 'new experience'. There was a fat girl in a dress with a red cape and I laughed until ginger beer came out of my nose so it wasn't all bad."

"I love that there are all these animals with deformities making money. I suspect if I put a dude with one leg and a flying saucer on a t-shirt, people would not react so amicably."