Long-Term Relationship Barbie

Barbie wanted a knight in shining armor and vacations in the Maldives (her daddy lived in Greenwich). Ken wanted a lady on his arm and a whore in the sack (he grew up in the Bronx). Now Barbie has a perm and shops at Burlington Coat Factory the day after Christmas. Ken starts his day off with "this coffee tastes like shit" and ends it with a silent dinner. When they fight, she stays at her alcoholic mothers' and he masturbates to photos of ex-girlfriends. One night they'll die of carbon monoxide poisoning and nobody will volunteer a eulogy.