December 11, 2013

Christmas at Piglet's (2013)

Academy award for best movie of the year.

Synopsis
Examination of the nature of human stupidity brilliantly intertwines gruesome murder and hysterical dialogue.

Plot
Protagonist of the story is a high functioning alcoholic with a career at a reputable investment bank. Along with several of his friends and acquaintances he attends a Christmas party hosted by Piglet in a remote town that reminds one of the neighborhoods in the borough of Brooklyn. After the dinner Wild Boar is uncovered slouched in the bathtub with protagonist's pocket knife buried deep into his eye socket. Suspicions immediately arose, however a video camera is found inside a teddy bear in Piglet's room that without a doubt puts protagonist in the room at the time of death having a threesome with Bunny and Poodle.

When Fox's body is uncovered in a closet shortly after, the guests begin their investigation as protagonist and his friend discuss effective ways of stealing pandas and best cities to climb buildings in. To ensure everyone's calmness and sobriety, the two of them systematically search the house and consume all the alcohol.

As bodies keep piling up and confusion spreads, those presumed previously dead are now considered alive and vice versa. The lines of reality blur and Wild Boar is thought to be the killer, Bunny goes on a zombie hunt and Poodle drowns herself in a bucket of valerianka in an attempt to rediscover god.

The movie ends with the protagonist and his friend discussing techniques of shaving cats inside of a turbine of a 747 in the air as they are finishing off the remainder of their vodka. In the final scene, the identity of the killer is revealed as deranged Fascist slices their heads of with protagonist's katana.

Screenplay developed by HFA over the course of a boring Champions League match.

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