David Tells a Jewish Joke

What do you prefer, a cold mother in law or a cold beer?
A cold mother in law, because she's dead.

--

A bus full of mothers in law and a bus full of their daughters in law are going to a picnic. The bus of mothers in law falls off a cliff. All the daughters in law are cheering and celebrating, except for one girl.
They ask her, "Why are you not happy?"
She replies, "My mother in law missed the bus."

--

A husband comes home to find his wife in bed with another man.
Shaking his head disapprovingly he laments, "Tsk tsk next think you know, you'll pick up smoking."

--

A man asks his friend how he is doing.
The friend replies, "I don't know what to tell you, my wife has not spoken to me in three days."
The man pats his friend on the shoulder, "You hold on to her, women like that don't come around often."